September 5, 2012
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My Tour of a Dungeon – NSFW
Hi guys – I only have a minute to post and this is an odd topic to post about, but I met some fascinating people this weekend. I met 3 couples in a community of BDSM who own and operate a dungeon. They also offer classes about the lifestyle to introduce new people to the lifestyle for information, even if they aren’t interested in the lifestyle themselves.
First I met a lady named “Lisa” who was a full time domme. As we visited and she showed me around the place, her naked slave followed us silently, sitting on the floor when we sat because he isn’t allowed on the furniture. I guess he wasn’t a slave yet, he is an aspiring slave that is considered a bottom, he hasn’t even made sub status yet. She was intelligent, funny, polite and even kind as she explained an overview of what she does and an introduction to the lifestyle. Her slave had spent the day naked and cleaning her toilets, in various torture devices, and rehearsing being subordinate.
Next I met a couple who are full time lifestylers, she is his slave and he her master. This relationship took years to develop, and they both seemed very happy with it. When in the house, she is not allowed to wear clothes unless he grants her permission (company or whatnot) and she consented to a non-consensual relationship. She wears a collar and tags all the time, even at work, and she is a scientist. The people I met were educated, professional, normal, funny and kind. It was nothing I expected.
Lisa was everything you would expect in a domme on the outside. She was 5’10, long dark hair and smoky eyes, dressed in black (though not leather). She had a presence that commanded attention. What I didn’t expect was her ability to have a conversation with me from kids, to football, to torturing men.
Here are some examples of what was in their dungeon.
This is a suspension device that rotates so the person bound to it can be any angle, upside down, sideways, etc.
This is a sawhorse with knee rests.
This is a cock and balls torture chair. You can see where the junk is pulled through, then the guillotine comes down and causes discomfort.
I wish I had more time to explain everything they taught and showed me (not on myself, of course), but I am in the office and don’t want anyone to come in
They demonstrated fire play on one of the slaves, they can use fire sticks and bulbs that doesn’t actually burn but leaves the skin feeling warm. They explained safe words and some of the attraction to the LS (thank you Fifty Shades of Grey). The most important thing I learned, however, was that people may have exotic lifestyles and interests, do things I would never consider or that might make me shudder, but when you look at anything with an open mind and leave judgement at the door – there are many worlds to discover and fascinating people to meet.
I am at work, not sure how much I will be able to respond until later. Have a terrific Hump Day!
Comments (76)
wow interesting i always thought they were like almost sex crazed lol.
what made u want to go into a dungeon??
*slowly backs out of room, hoping to escape unnoticed, and therefore uncockballguillotineated*
LOL. The cock and balls torture chair. I seriously can’t stop laughing.
@Geoffreya90 - Actually, there’s not a lot of sex involved – I was surprised, too! I actually met the first couple, they told me what she (not her husband) did for a living, and I wanted to check it out! I have an invitation to watch for a day, but I am not sure I am going to take it
Besides, she only does it on weekdays and I have to work..
@IntoTheWind1 - I think I am going to send Lisa your addy and tell her you’re into it – that you’ve always had kidnapping and torture fantasies.
@Erika_Steele - I couldn’t believe it was real! And when she has more than one going at a time, she uses rope on the one that doesn’t sit in the chair.
I even had a few Xanga Friends who lived this lifestyle.
@ANVRSADDAY - I know one girl, I seriously had no idea what it was about until this weekend. It wasn’t anything I had imagined, and was very neat!
Please don’t let her torture Captain Stiffy!. I know he looks big and mean, but really he’s just a softie most of the day!
@IntoTheWind1 - Bwahaha! Ok, I can’t laugh at work, folks will get suspicious!
yeah idk about wanting to watch for a day it seems like a closed door type of thing haha.
so basically its a lifestyle not so much a fetish?
@Geoffreya90 - For most people it’s a lifestyle, but for some it’s like a weekend hobby type of thing. I guess it’s a fetish? I don’t know, they gave me a lot of books, I will let you know when I am finished reading them
thanks for sharing. if there is more pics and thoughts love to hear them.
@RushmoreJ - I think I might hit a couple of the classes and learn more. I didn’t take pics of their dungeon, that felt invasive, so I just found a couple of examples of their furniture – but they had tons more. They had an examination chair with stirrups, hooks all over for suspension, other pieces of furniture that I couldn’t even describe well enough to find pics on google. It was super cool, and I will post more about it when I know more, but the best people to post about it would be people in the LS, not just an observer like me.
@BoulderChristina - hahaha! okay then let me know when your done
@BoulderChristina - I found them to be nice.
@ANVRSADDAY - Me too! Very open, honest and accepting. Cool people so far
LOVE!!! The master/slave relationship sounds amazing!! The true lifestyle is nothing like 50 Shades…I hate those books. There’s a depth and trust there that can barely be explained.
Anyway, I’m envious of your tour!! Sounds like a good time =]
@crazy2love - I haven’t read it, but I have heard they are terrible – but have sparked interest. They both said their master/slave vows mean more to them than their wedding vows. They were super cool.
I hope you can find a dungeon to tour, too
Looks and sounds like an interesting place
@Geoffreya90 - Yes, it’s a lifestyle, and much of it isn’t about sex at all. It’s about the dominance/submission. Giving yourself completely into dominance (as a submissive) is…so intense there’s barely words. It’s something you feel deep inside, to your very core, that makes you feel breathless at being given an order..and it doesn’t even have to be sexual in nature. It’s something that’s felt already…not something you do to make you feel. I don’t know what a dominant feels, but it probably feels the same way. It’s also the dominant’s job to provide nurturing care. Giving yourself to someone is deep, and it’s their responsibility to handle that trust with care, and to be loving in return.
A fetish is simply sexual in nature and does not have depth. It’s still trusting, but there’s not much of an emotional attachment. A fetish is only physically pleasing…carnal..pleasing to the flesh. The relationship is so much more..fulfilling on an emotional level…and yet, it’s dangerous. There are many who will abuse the power that comes with being a dominant and they will not treat the trust given to them with the care that it deserves and it becomes a very abusive relationship, damaging to the psyche. If anyone is every interested in the lifestyle, it’s important to consider all the consequences of it, because people can get very hurt.
@crazy2love - wow thank you for that honestly i was trying to put it into words how they compare toward each other but that there sums it up!
@Geoffreya90 - You’re welcome =]
@IntoTheWind1 - *Grabs from behind, pushes back in room* trololol….
My boyfriend and I were recently introduced to the lifestyle (we even went to a kink party last night! I have pics of what they did to my back grrr so hot). The people I have met who are into the whole BDSM/kinky lifestyle have been some of the nicest people I’ve ever met, and so completely respectful it was unreal. We have a kink club in our city that we try to go when we can. It’s the only “club” I’ve ever been to where I felt completely safe and that I could even go there alone and know I wouldn’t be bothered and that there are tons of people there to step in if you get uncomfortable. We are thoroughly enjoying our journey to discovering our kinks. Sooooo fuuuuuuuuun
@MrTrololo - don’t make me go Chuck Norris on you, boy.
Judo chop!
Wow o: personally I think it all sounds a bit weird and medieval.. but y’know if these people are happy with their lifestyle, that’s a that matters!
@crazy2love - I’ve rarely encountered people in equal relationships who are worthy of the trust extended to them. I can’t imagine there are very many people AT ALL who both desire complete control over another and are worthy of the kind of trust that would demand.
@IntoTheWind1 - lol oh c’mon u knowed you wants ur junk all beat up in that trap.
Thanks for the pics! lol! I’m intrigued.
Fascinating. Not for me, but as long as both of the people involved in the relationship consent…who am I to tell them otherwise? Thank you for sharing.
Ohhhhh… kayyyyy…
Hmm…I see what they mean now when they say “X marks the spot”.
hi bc… i’m glad you take these adventures… not sure how i’d respond, but as i get older it seems the more ‘explorations’ the better…
It is good that you posted this, and that you emphasized that the people who do this at home, have regular jobs and are high functioning. Me, I am supposed to be high functioning at work and I want to talk to women I don’t know, on the Internet, about whether they shave their pubic hair or not, I want to ask people their shoe size, and I go onto craigslist and backpage and eros.com and find the ads of the transsexual and transvestite escorts, it’s called casual encounters and then t4m on craigslist, and sometimes I whip it out and j/o if it’s late at night or a Saturday afternoon here and I’m alone. Sometimes I am bottom and sometimes top in my fantasies about these people. Yes I can imagine that you wanna minimize your screen if your boss or a co-worker comes barging into your work area while you are reading about something like this that is non-work and REALLY interesting, right…so I guess you made me feel better, I’m not alone, others also have secret lives.
This was completely fascinating. I hope you will write more about it later! I’ve always kind of been curious about that lifestyle. I think it could be satisfying with the right person.
Interesting. I haven’t read 50 Shades, but I’ve read other stuff about this. I don’t know if I could really live that sort of lifestyle full time, even though a lot of it appeals to me a lot. I think that for me it would have to be something that was, well, not occasional, but not outside of the bedroom or certain days. I like the idea of submission, but I also like the idea of being sort of “normal” if that makes any sense. Still, sounds like you had an interesting visit! Did you get any ideas you might want to try out?
@blonde_apocalypse – yes, it is rare, but it most definitely can be found, and it’s the most wonderful, fulfilling feeling in the world
@MrTrololo - You just made water get forced up into my nose from laughing. Well done!
sounds fun
ah – enlightening! thanks for the behind-the-scenes report
Excellent post, my dear. It is a fascinating world indeed and not at all what people may even expect or understand. I’ve not been involved in that world for a very long time, but I certainly have not forgotten what it was all about. Great share!!
@godfatherofgreenbay - You should come visit
@crazy2love - Thank you so much for your response, it’s nice to have input from someone who is actually involved
@forever_musing - Isn’t it surprising how cool the people are, especially given our initial ideas about what this must be like? I was so happy to meet them and never once felt uncomfortable.
@SentimentalDoll - medieval always equals cool!
@heart_leigh - I am going to read all about it.
@Shadowrunner81 - It’s always fun to learn about new things, even if you would rather just know about it from afar!
@Aloysius_son - Is that consent?
@hombre_de_la_mancha - Good one
@xplorrn - I can see some exploration and adventure in your future!
@TheCellOfDougMoe - Every normal person has a secret here and there
@BohemianLotus - You should go to a class and see what you think.
@leaflesstree - A little dipping your toes in the water first is never a bad idea
A few things, I will have to write a private post later!
@cdedodgethis - Thanks, it was!
@hot_lil_delinqnt - More like a behind the curtain report
@BoulderChristina - Sure why not? What were we talking about again?
@MzSilver - :Lady, we need to catch up so you can share some of your stories. You have the richest life of anyone I know!
how very interesting. even bizarre, to my thinking. I can only come to the conclusion that the people who consent to this have some kind of dysfunction that they are feeding, and that this lifestyle fills that place that is painful but also normal for them, where they feel odd comfort.
it would be interesting to visit a place like this, myself. thanks for sharing, Christina. : )
@plantinthewindow - I would love it if you could at least meet the people, you may be surprised how different they are than you imagine!
@BoulderChristina - I would enjoy that.
@BoulderChristina - It’s interesting that out of all the stories I’ve shared here, these have never been part of them. Perhaps it’s a part of my life that I treasured more deeply than any other and have thus locked it away in the ‘dungeon’, so to speak. There are many who don’t understand it so I simply do not talk about it. *smile…
@plantinthewindow - I never felt there was any form of dysfunction either for myself or my partner. It was a natural as any other sexual life style and was quite rewarding in it’s own way. We both had jobs, we had friends, as well as normal lives. What we did behind closed doors was our own little world and it helped us function outside of those doors. It was interesting and to many, it is indeed bizarre.
@MzSilver - You are right, in fact I don’t think anyone really can understand it without experiencing (at least exploring) the lifestyle and the people. I am going to hit a class, and will not pretend to understand right now – but I have a much better idea than I did a couple of weeks ago!
@plantinthewindow - @MzSilver - One thing that was said that keeps standing out in my mind was this – All day long my job is to make life changing decisions for thousands of people. There is stress, pressure, and the weight of the world on me until I can return back to my real life and offer myself to my master. There is something cathartic and liberating about finding the person who will take all the burdens from you and it makes me whole.
@MzSilver - how does it/did it help you function in the rest of your life? how does the humiliation part help? I’m honestly curious.
@BoulderChristina - very interesting.
@plantinthewindow - I should let her answer because she knows much more than I do, but it seems like it’s all part of going to the right place mentally.. The people I was around did not feel humiliated at all, in fact the lady I mentioned above felt great pride in her role and position. It’s not like an Applebees waitress that has to sing a birthday song or lose their job type of humiliation, it is more about breaking down walls and barriers so that a true commitment and trust can be formed. Does that make sense at all? I hope Peggy Sue can answer it more clearly and accurately than me.
@MzSilver - I don’t know if you know John (Plantinthewindow) but he is being sincere, he isn’t trying to pass judgment.
@BoulderChristina - that makes sense.
@plantinthewindow - It seems for me that regarding relationships, every time I think we have no more barriers or issues (Corey and I) that I just haven’t dug deep enough. We have layers and layers of garbage from past relationships, how we were raised, and just personality differences and we could spend our entire life digging but may never strike gold.
I have never been successful in the past in my relationships because I have never tried to get past my stuff, I wore it like a badge. Now that I am brave enough to explore myself, I wonder how anyone could have tolerated me 
@BoulderChristina - : )
@plantinthewindow - Actually Christina said it correctly. I was moving up in the world, had dealt with a couple of bad relationships, was trying to get my kids back, so there was a great deal of stress. The man I was with removed all of that when I walked in the door at the end of the day. I turned everything over to him and let him shoulder the burdens that would have been mine. I’ve always been a very strong woman. It’s the Aries in me. But I enjoyed not having to handle any of those things when I was behind closed doors. There was great balance between the two of us and I never felt like I was lower than he was. He treated me with care and I always felt loved, cherished and desired when I was with him.
It certainly isn’t for everybody, but I was able to step into the relationship with no problems. Which was pretty amazing considering I had been in complete control of my life up until then.
@BoulderChristina - I do know John and realize he is simply asking questions. I trust him and have no problem responding. Thank you for your concern, Christina.
I kinda stumbled across this via read breadcrumbs. As a Dom in a very loving 24/7 Ds relationship, I always find the outside perspective of “vanillas” to be interesting. Hollywood has certainly done a disservice to those of Uus in the Lifestyle, and you’re not to be blamed for the idea of Uus you have. I just find it interesting.
@Lion126 - Hey! Glad you found it! It was my first experience with this, and I was pleasantly surprised. I thought I was pretty open minded and even I didn’t realized how many preconceived notions I had. It’s definitely something I am exploring
A good starting point is Fetlife.com. It’s basically a Facebook for kinky people. There you can meet lifestyles from all over the world, or right in your own community! Lots of educational posts there as well
Other resources to understanding the lifestyle are
http://m.voices.yahoo.com/bondage-discipline-domination-submission-sadism-masochism-554937.html?cat=7
http://kimdebron.tripod.com/id13.html
Or
http://www.peter-masters.com/wiki/index.php/Main_Page
Just as a starter/reference point.
Have fun!!!
Lion