January 10, 2013
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Becoming Real
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
Anybody who isn’t moved by the Velveteen Rabbit should read it again. I can’t wait to be real, myself.
I need authenticity in my own life as much as I need sunshine. I need to surround myself with imperfect, bumbling and clumsy (but always trying) people. I spend time with people who are genuine. Genuinely themselves.I am working on becoming real, and I don’t even mind having my hair loved off or my eye drop out to get there.
Comments (52)
I think I was real once but it might have been a delusion.
Don’t go around making me cry, woman.
I’ve never read the Velveteen Rabbit. I need to do so.
this is beautiful, Christina – thank you for this.
@HappierHeathen - Well, take the test. Do you have your hair loved off, your eyes dangling out or are you joints all droopy?
@Erika_Steele - It definitely wasn’t me!
@plantinthewindow - You will love it
@BoulderChristina - your post made me cry.
Briefly, and decide that I don’t want don’t want to be after all.
I’ve always loved that book.
@Erika_Steele - I think that book brings out the little kid in all of us!
I will never be real.
@ANVRSADDAY - Do you have sharp edges?
are there pictures?
@BoulderChristina - No, I am a classic people pleaser. I have no edge at all—all sponge.
@Under_the_Ghillie - Aren’t there always?
If not, it didn’t happen.
Keep it real.
@Under_the_Ghillie - Comment.
@TheTheologiansCafe - I can’t think of any clever comeback for that
@BoulderChristina - Well… my hair’s thinner than it used to be, I’ve got arthritis, and my gall bladder is out. Is that close enough?
@HappierHeathen - You’re almost there. Keep working at it
Well, I’m back up again! (the computer died) Dang! I wrote a funny comment and now I can’t remember it…..the story of my life…
It’s interesting, because whenever I act, I always feel like Pinnochio. Who will cut the strings so that I may become a real boy? Or are they cut? Only G. knows….. but he’s currently out gettin a smoke with Jiminy.
@BoulderChristina - Well, okay, but I hope it happens before I run out of parts.
I’m almost tearing up at the thought of that book. I knew people who read it a dozen times, I read it maybe once and was just heartbroken. I loved all my animals and dolls to death…or life? They had personalities. Part of me thought, “maybe I could pass these on to my kids,” but there was no way. I played with my toys, there was no “sit on the shelf and look pretty” stuff for me!
Real people are hard to find these days. A lot of real people hide their realness in public so it’s hard to seek them out, too.
That’s a great book.
I give copies of the Velveteen Rabbit to all new moms…and an occasional grown up friend who is having issues…because life doesn’t leave you looking band box perfect. It leaves it’s mark with wear and tear…and that’s not a bad thing.
I haven’t read that in years, but I recognized the beginning of the quotation immediately. That book gets in your heart and doesn’t leave.
I love the velveteen rabbit. My children loved it and grandchildren also love it.
Life is real and I just wait for each day to begin to see what challenge comes along.
(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
and just live.
it only happens to my clothes… everyday they start fresh and clean – and by the end of the day i’m left nekkid and in need of a scrubbin’… go figure…
nice one bc – i’d venture you’re well beyond your way in ‘realism…’ i think it’s the funism that gets lost – myself included… or maybe even deluded…
Velveteen Rabbit? Never heard of this. That rabbit reminds me a bit of Piglet.
I love Winnie Pooh – it has the loveliest quotes ever! And – it is so REAL!
according to the Skin Horse’s definition I’m already real – well, my eye’s haven’t dropped out but only because they can’t get past my glasses
Have A Great Weekend!
Sometimes I wonder if I can ever be real. I am such a people pleaser, that I find it hard to know what I really am inside.
Am I dreaming or was there once a touchable version of this book? With textures and things? I think I had one growing up but I might be thinking of some other book. Hmm… now I’m going to have to go find a copy of the Velveteen Rabbit. It’s been so long…
People will tell me to dye my hair, getting quite a few gray hairs. I tell them I earned those grays and wear them proudly! Love the Rabbit…my granddaughter helps me on the journey to becoming Real! Thanks for bringing the Rabbit back to life!
Things have been a little too real for me, lately.
This is amazing! wow. A little speechless actually.
@Kellsbella - Jiminy is the corrupter of all good things.
@leaflesstree - Isn’t that the truth?? I always choke up when I read this book, sometimes children’s books have more power and wisdom than other things we read!
@ata_grandma - Isn’t it? I get all warm and fuzzy when I remember it.
@galadrial - It isn’t a bad thing, is it? I like this one and The Giving Tree by Shel Silversein, I pass them out often
So nice to see you again!
@lanney - Very true words! Some books never leave you, and this is definitely one of them!
@Grannys_Place - You are one of the most brave and “real” people I know!
@xplorrn - I’m sorry, what did you say? I couldn’t concentrate after the nekked and scrubbing part.
@SherryAngeLMysteriez - I love Pooh too! Have you read the Tao of Pooh? One of my favorite books ever!
@mlbncsga - HA! Me too, I guess I get more real everyday!
@angys_coco - Your tender heart is part of what makes you so real, Angy! I am a people pleaser myself, sometimes it’s hard to know where other people stop and we begin, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t real because of it!
@light_blue_fables - Now that you mention it, I think you’re right..
@crankycaregiver - My grey hairs poke out, too. You are right, we’ve earned them!
@lonelywanderer2 - Ha! This made me snort!
@xXrEMmUsXx - Isn’t it the sweetest book ever??
@BoulderChristina - Snort some for me; I ran out!!!
That sounds familiar but I have no idea where I heard it from. Very zen-like though. I love when children’s literature or cinema isn’t dogshit.
@Grannys_Place - I guess that makes it a real book. : P
@BoulderChristina - No indeed! I earned my gray…and I flaunt it.