January 13, 2013
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Honesty and Integrity
Most of you are familiar with Stephen Covey, and for those of you too young to have heard him I am sure you familiar with his work. I have been spending a lot of time thinking about where I fall short in his ideals, and I think one of my biggest areas of weakness is integrity.
According to Covey, honesty is saying what you did. Integrity is doing what you say. I have no problems sharing what I did, how I stumbled, how I succeeded. The problem I have is doing what I say I am going to. Sometimes, my enthusiasm is too much for me, and I agree to do more than I can possibly do. I have previously stated that I am a YES person. So, when approached by someone who needs help or suggests a fun project, I genuinely and sincerely say and mean yes. There are only so many hours in the day, and I am not as energetic as I once was, so I find myself in the middle of all of these fun and important things I want to do -agreed to do – and I crash. Either I don’t put as much heart into the project as it deserves, or I tell them that unfortunately I have bitten off more than I can chew, and let me help you find someone else to do this.
One of my resolutions this year is to live with more integrity. It’s only a couple of weeks in, and I am already struggling to bite my tongue when opportunities come up. Keep your fingers crossed for me so I can learn the power of no, and I can complete my current projects with the heart that they deserve.
Do you have trouble with honesty or integrity?
Comments (15)
I have no problem with honesty. If people does not like facing me because I say the truth, then they can just go and let it be. I am fine with that rather than living within lies itself …
Integrity? Well, when I was young that would be a different case. It is something I never thought about. But now, since I am an adult, a wife to my husband, a sister to my other siblings, a best friend to someone(s) and a mother of six children, then integrity is the wholeness of me. It is almost holy – my own definition of this.
“This above all: to thine own self be true” [William Shakespeare, Hamlet]
I need to work on the power of “no.” I’ve become more aggressive this past year. I was harassed a lot, and I learned to just keep doing what I want to do and not worry about them. They damaged my brain, but that ended up helping me because I received a free apartment.
I put too much on my plate too. I think as women we tend to do that more. People expect a lot from us.
They need to learn to back off because we don’t belong to them.
My job requires me to be above all that is honest and true, and to hopefully set the example for others. Whether or not they choose to follow my lead, is a different story. If their integrity is questioned, and it leads to them being dishonest, then I step in and take care of it permenantly.
I wouldn’t call that a problem with integrity. It’s really more an issue with time management or responsibility.
It becomes a true problem with integrity if you agree to do something, then decide not to follow though when you have the opportunity to do so. Another case would be if you go “politician” and agree to do things without ever really intending to follow through.
Your issue isn’t about trust ( you can’t trust a person with no integrity), but reliability.
Hmm. I’m not sure that I can answer this about myself, because obviously self-perception is a bit skewed. I think I have more of a problem with honesty than integrity. I usually (I think) do what I say I’m going to do, at least as far as others are concerned. I have more trouble following through on my own personal projects than things that affect other people. For example, each weekend I intend to get housework done, but I rarely get as much as I intend. However, if I am doing something for work, or someone else, I do what I say I would do.
Honesty is another story, though, because there are many things I have done that I have not talked about. I haven’t told lies about them, but nor have I been entirely forthcoming. Opening is harder for me.
i agree with a lot of folks here who say that integrity isn’t the issue in your case (and in many of our cases perhaps- those of us who overcommit). i think integrity is more about intention.
i dunno what my problem is.
I do not have trouble with honesty and integrity. In fact it is quite the opposite. at times, I’m too honest which causes problems in my life.
I really don’t have an issue with honesty. I long since discovered the truth will come out so there is no use in hiding it. However, I tend to be a people pleaser and have a hard time saying no. This leads to me either being stressed or not following through because there is just too much on my plate. It’s something I’m working on!
Nope, no problems with those things here. My solution to the problem of having too much to do: Increase the hourly rate until such time as your workload becomes reasonably manageable.
I struggle with both. I figure most people do, but that doesn’t always help. Good luck to you.
I don”t know and sometimes you can be to honest. I try to be honest.
I have been in the same situation as you many many times, when I had eagerly accepted to do something, because I have this urge to please people, and then find myself, in a dilemma where I cannot complete as you said, because I had bitten off more than I can chew!
my problem is with honesty. i think sometimes i mixed up the imagined things i wish i did and what really happen. i may have a slight inflated vision of myself. i do few small things and I think i’m super squeaky cleanly nice
I was surprised that he died not long ago.
Honesty and integrity…….I’d tell you but then I would have to come and get you and hide you away so my secrets would remain safe.
On another note. I used to friends someone here who I believe got a game type of presence (business) going on the www. Would you like her Xanga addy? PS – I define integrity as character and I guess that is also doing what one professes. It seemed to come out a little differently when I read your post as though it related to goals and objectives. I trust people with integrity and I am pretty sure I can trust you. Nonetheless I hear you saying that there is something you would like to improve or change…..