Most of you are familiar with Stephen Covey, and for those of you too young to have heard him I am sure you familiar with his work. I have been spending a lot of time thinking about where I fall short in his ideals, and I think one of my biggest areas of weakness is integrity.

According to Covey, honesty is saying what you did. Integrity is doing what you say. I have no problems sharing what I did, how I stumbled, how I succeeded. The problem I have is doing what I say I am going to. Sometimes, my enthusiasm is too much for me, and I agree to do more than I can possibly do. I have previously stated that I am a YES person. So, when approached by someone who needs help or suggests a fun project, I genuinely and sincerely say and mean yes. There are only so many hours in the day, and I am not as energetic as I once was, so I find myself in the middle of all of these fun and important things I want to do -agreed to do – and I crash. Either I don’t put as much heart into the project as it deserves, or I tell them that unfortunately I have bitten off more than I can chew, and let me help you find someone else to do this. 

One of my resolutions this year is to live with more integrity. It’s only a couple of weeks in, and I am already struggling to bite my tongue when opportunities come up. Keep your fingers crossed for me so I can learn the power of no, and I can complete my current projects with the heart that they deserve.

Do you have trouble with honesty or integrity?

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

Anybody who isn’t moved by the Velveteen Rabbit should read it again. I can’t wait to be real, myself.

I need authenticity in my own life as much as I need sunshine. I need to surround myself with imperfect, bumbling and clumsy (but always trying) people. I spend time with people who are genuine. Genuinely themselves. 

I am working on becoming real, and I don’t even mind having my hair loved off or my eye drop out to get there. 

Why do people say that? I think people who would think, “well, he’s just a dog” should never be allowed to own one. 

My sister has an ugly little Schnauzer. His name is Wilson (from Cast Away). Wilson has a weight problem that she can’t get under control because she has a two year old and a 7 year old. The fat little guy can get anything he wants from them! Long story short, Wilson is diabetic. The insulin caused pancreatitis, which is very dangerous in dogs. Wilson went to the hospital a week ago, and things look grim. 

Wilson is fighting for his life, though. He hasn’t given up the fight to live, and therefore she won’t put him down until he does. They have spent more than $4,000.00 so far to give him his best chance. Someone she knows actually told her the most horrible thing imaginable – she said, “$4,000??? You could buy a new schnauzer and go on a cruise for that. He’s just a dog!”. 

I have been spending extra love on my dog since Wilson got sick. It’s a scary reminder how much they mean to us when they get sick. Here he is at the park:

I would mortgage the house to try to save my sick dog. Is there something wrong with me, or is there something wrong with the lady that said that? When do you know you have tried enough on someone that is part of your family and means so much to you? 

In 1989, a young man named Trygue from Norway came to Nederland, CO with his grandfather. His grandfather on ice, that is. You see, Trygve’s grandpa (Grandpa Bredo) was a big believer in cryogenics and was convinced that if frozen, he could easily be resurrected once that technology became available. Being a better than average grandson, Trygve honored that wish and froze Grandpa Bredo and brought him with him on his travels. Trygve kept Grandpa in the shed out back of his house on ice until he was deported in 1994. The officials would not allow him to bring his icy grandpa with him, and also wouldn’t allow him to be buried. The law is shady when it comes to transporting frozen dead men in and out of the country, so until both countries come to an agreement, Grandpa Bredo will remain in his chilly Tuff Shed. 

Every year the town of Nederland celebrates Frozen Dead Guy days in March. Here is a list of events:

• Coffin races
• A slow-motion parade
• “Frozen Dead Guy” look alike contests
• A tour of the Tuff Shed where Grandpa is still frozen
• A “polar plunge” for those brave enough to go swimming in Colorado in early March (which generally requires breaking through the ice)
• A dance, called “Grandpa’s Blue Ball”
• Pancake breakfasts
• A market showcasing local artists
• Snowshoe races, and
• Snow sculpture contests.

Nederland has 1300 residents and is at 8230 ft elevation. I go to Nederland often as they a beautiful lake:

An awesome coffee shop:

And of course, the 4th of July Trailhead.

They call it the 4th of July for a reason, you can’t get to the trailhead before then with 4 wheel drive. I tried on Memorial Day once, after weeks of 80 degree weather in town, to be stuck in nearly three feet of snow. I am a quick study though, and only tried once!

I love Nederland, and if all works out well, I hope to move there in a couple of years. Keep your fingers crossed for me, and I will send you a photo of the corpse-sickle on top of the mountain!

Recently, there has been much focus on gun control, senseless violence, unthinkable acts that have caused nationwide anguish. I have no opinion on gun control, personally. I can see and even agree with both sides, so I am not addressing this issue. That is not what this post is about. This post is simply about the book I found, and how it made me believe the world isn’t as ugly as it has been throughout history.

Steven Pinker, Harvard professor of psychology, wrote a lengthy book called “The Better Angels of Our Nature”. This book studies the history of humankind, and reveals the decline of violence in our world. I am not even finished with it, but I am so grateful I found it. There’s no way to sum up even what I have read this far in a single post, so I am going to try to skim some of his main points. Though they seem unbelievable, all the shootings, murders, wars and even genocides – there is no denying that even as the population of the world is increasing, the overall violence is decreasing.

1.  Pacification Process -The transition from hunter/gatherer societies to an agricultural civilization created a more peaceful state of existence by decreasing tribal wars and raiding. The reduction in violent deaths is estimated at five to ten times less.

2.  Civilizing Process -Between the late Middle Ages and the 20th century, European countries saw a ten to fifty fold decline in homicide rates. The declination in violence is credited to the consolidation of feudal territories into large kingdoms and centralized governments – infrastructure, commerce and authority. 

3. Humanitarian Revolution- The Age of Reason and Enlightenment in the 17th and 18th centuries created organized efforts to abolish socually sanctioned violence – dueling, judicial torture, cruelty to animals, etc. These are the seeds of the pacifism movements, ending socially acceptable sadism. 

4. Long Peace -Since WWII, the great powers in the developed nations have ceased waging war on one another. (No, this doesn’t mean wars have ended, but historically speaking, we are in a time of peace.)

Since the Universal Declaration of Human Rights in 1948, there has been growing repulsion to aggression on smaller scales – violence against women, children, homosexuals, ethnic and religious minorities and animals. Civil rights have been pushed forward at unprecedented rates and violence is no longer seen as macho, superior and good. Changing attitudes towards intolerance, prejudice, sexism, racism – even on the smaller scales such as bullying and spanking – have all contributed to the peace we now know.

The world isn’t perfect today – we still have far to go. But the past seems less innocent and the present less sinister when you take a step back and view the history of violence in our world. I’ve always been a glass is half full kind of girl.