March 7, 2013

• Journal Therapy

  I keep a journal. I have for years. I need this book to collect my thoughts, document my life, and sort my emotions.

  

  I know that it sounds so old school – writing things down with a pen, sacrificing spell check and the delete button – but I need the act of pen to paper to really get things out of my system. This book rides in my purse with me (yes, I carry a very large purse) and never gets far out of reach. I used to keep it in my purse because I was paranoid somebody would read it when it was out of my sight; I believed that what I wrote was so valuable, people couldn’t wait to get their hands on it to use it against me. Now that I have matured enough to realize that people don’t have any sinister desire to read my most personal thoughts, I still carry it with me. I just can’t seem to leave it at home, it’s my constant companion and documentary of what happens every day in my life.

  When my daughters were young I pushed them to journal, too. Knowing the clarity it brings to me to write things down, I encouraged them to do the same. One of my daughters is a daily writer now, the other could care less. My writing child  finds the same value I do in writing things out. 

  Things rattle around in our heads sometimes – these things take on a life of their own and can grow more daunting and distressing each minute. When something like this gets stuck in my mind, I write it out. The simple act of putting things on paper clears out the clutter, puts things back in perspective, and gives me permission to quit obsessing over it. It’s almost as if I captured the “stressor” on paper, so my mind doesn’t need to cling so tightly to it anymore. Seeing things written out also helps me see the absurdity in some of my thinking. The world really ISN’T going to end if I do {insert obsessive thought here}. I give full credit to the shred of sanity I cling to, to my journal. Without it I am a wreck.

  Here are some reasons why I think everybody should journal.

  1. Introspection – It’s easier to explore our own thoughts when we use a tool to do so. I have surprised myself with some of the ideas that spew from my fingers when I let myself go. I learn a lot about myself when I reread my entries, almost like reading somebody else’s. 

  2. Honesty is easier when you aren’t writing for an audience – When you are the only person who will be reading your thoughts, your thoughts are safer to be real. I don’t have to be positive all the time – in my journal I can talk about what a big, fat meanie head Corey can be without worry of him reading it or anybody else thinking poorly of him (or me) as a result. Writing out what a meanie I think he is gives me permission to let go of that feeling or thought. It’s not like I haven’t captured it somewhere, so now that I don’t have to worry about losing it, I can let it slip from my mind.

  3. Documentation – I have the world’s worst memory. If I didn’t document what was happening in my life, I would have no idea a week from now. Countless times I have pulled out old writings just to figure things out. What did we do for his birthday last year? Oh yeah. What did I really think of this job when I started? Did I always hate it? If I didn’t have a trail of bread crumbs to guide me back to where I have been, I would be lost in the present forever.

  4. Creativity – Some of my best ideas have come when I was journaling. The act of putting a pen to paper engages my brain and allows free thought to flow. I don’t have the restrictive “Focus, you must focus!” hat on which allows creativity to run rampant. Most days nothing brilliant slips out of me, but occasionally it’s as if a ghost writer slips into my fingers and ideas spring onto my page before they had a chance to enter my mind.

  5. Emotional dumping grounds – The final reason I think everybody should keep a journal is that it is also used as an emotional toilet. Corey is a big fat meanie and my sister didn’t even mention my hair. That lady passed me on the trail and wasn’t even out of breath and I wish I could have kicked her. I hate my job my life my work I am a big fat loser and nobody loves me. Once all those bad thoughts are spent on a page, I can close the book – flush the toilet, per se. Everybody has negative thoughts and feelings once in awhile, and ignoring them does no good. Rarely does expressing them do any good. So what do people do with this garbage if they don’t have a toilet to flush it down? That has always been a mystery to me.

  Whether you do or don’t keep a journal, I hope you have another form of therapy to keep you sane. Well, at least a little bit sane. 

  What is your emotional toilet?

  

  • 1:05 pm
  • 49 Comments