Month: April 2013

  • The Weather Outside is Frightful

    This is for @Vexations – I can’t wait for spring to really come to Boulder for more than a day or two. Bill always teases me with photos of spring and flowers, I can’t wait to post my spring and flower pictures for him, too!

     

    Snow in Estes Park this morning.

     

    And here is Fort Collins this morning.

     

    The Interstate is closed and we are expecting up to a foot of snow. Again. In April. 

    The IRS and Mother Nature are working together to make sure this is an extra special Monday. I have an article due today, so I guess it’s a good day to stay inside anyway :)  

    Happy Tax Day.

  • Call of the Wild

    When I moved to Colorado, it was largely due to my love of the outdoors. After spending ten years on the prairie in weather that was usually unfit to be outdoors, I craved the outdoors and sunshine more than anything I can remember. I read Bill Bryson’s book, A Walk in the Woods, shortly after my divorce and knew I had to change my life to focus on the things I loved. 

    I grew up in the country, I was always outside. I would hike to remote areas and lay a blanket on a large rock overlooking a draw and read my days away. I would wait for glimpses of animals that didn’t know I was there, does with fawns coming to the creek at the bottom of the draw, raccoon, porcupines and even snakes were all treats – rewards for my stillness. I learned things like how to use witching sticks, how to use bow and arrow, what plants were NEVER to be used for wiping your tushie when you pee in the woods. 

    My kids were city kids. (If you can call anyplace in South Dakota a city). They didn’t get to fish, camp and hike as a way of life – those were just annoying things I drug them to do when they could be doing better things, like hanging out at the mall. They grew up with unlimited cable and internet, cell phones, facebook. Their extracurricular activities were gymnastics, cheer-leading, cross country running. They hung out at malls, drank lattes (I still don’t understand that, I am a black coffee girl myself), wore phony glasses and bright scarves. Dragging them outside was like pulling teeth, a cruel punishment from their mother. They had great counter points when I argued with them to come camping – “You said to be active, we participate in sports. You said to be smart, we read books. Where does getting dirty and being hot fit into our development?”. (Yes, they really talked that way – little snots!) Even moving them to CO where it’s still cool to be outdoorsy had little affect on them, they just hate being outside.

    I am determined to make a bigger impact on my niece, nephew, and grand baby than I did my kids, so I am finding ways to merge the technology world with the natural one. Geocaching may be my best shot here. With geocaching games, you have different scavenger hunts to find natural things. There is a treasure at the end of the hunt, and you can take the treasure as long as you leave something of equal value. This looks like wicked fun, and I plan to take my niece (8) on an adventure some weekend when it’s warm and dry. I am sure most of you know what Geocaching is, but if not, here is a link. 

    Another way I plan to use technology to manipulate the children to engage in nature is through blogging. Not typical blogging, like Xanga or WordPress, but more visual blogs such as Tumblr or even PinInterest – whatever is “cool” when they are old enough to engage them. We will take pictures of natural things (plants, animals, scenery) and write short, slightly educational blogs about them (Need to be tricky here, can’t let them know they are learning) and share them with their friends. The gratification they will receive from feedback, comments, etc may encourage them to want to keep updating and adding content. I am hopefully that I can use their need for instant feedback and praise as a tool to keep them interested, but I may be mistaken, I will keep you posted!

    People spend 90 percent of their lives indoors now. 90 percent. Fresh air, natural light, all the benefits that come from being outside are being artificially duplicated to our indoor environments so people don’t feel it’s important to be outside anymore. If people watch the National Geographic channel, why would they need to go outside and see real animals for themselves? When my kids were growing up, the terrible statistic was that kids were spending less than 4 hours a week outside. Today that number is 40 minutes a week. Why would kids go outside if we never do? We spend time in gyms, supermarkets, offices and spending less time gardening and spending time exercising outside. 

    Being in nature (nature as the non-human world, in this instance) engages imagination, stimulates your brain, makes people more engaged and more peaceful at the same time. The real world is not always the technology world. Watching a lion catch a deer on TV leaves little impact, but running across a deer corpse on the trail leaves a much more real, palpable experience. Watching fox babies on YouTube and running into a den of them are two entirely different experiences. An hour of fresh air a day (true fresh air, not filter systems that pumps fresh air into the vents) helps us sleep, helps our digestion, blood pressure, immune system and increases happiness. One hour can do all of that. Sunshine (please use sunscreen) is shown to do all that fresh air does in addition to fighting cancer, obesity, diabetes. Walking and hiking in the woods rarely feels like “working out” or exercise (even though it’s fantastic exercise), it feels like exploring, experiencing, enjoying an adventure of sorts. It’s stimulating all of our senses and often our bodies forget that they are working because we are taken in by the sights, smells and sounds that are different than our indoor environment. 

    Personally, I find being outdoors in a remote, natural environment humbling and awe inspiring. It’s nice to be in an environment that isn’t completely under my control. It’s peaceful to disengage from the beeps and flashing lights and ringing phones and submerge myself in the sounds not created by other people. I can think more clearly, my hope and optimism soars and I am less annoyed by the world when I return. But that’s just me. happy

     

    Here is a pic my daughter sent me of herself and my grand-daughter, Atlas, this morning :) I am not going to tell her of my scheming to get the baby outside yet, so don’t tattle on me!

     

    Have any of you used geocaching with your kids? Do you have any other tips for me regarding how to make my indoors family go outside? 

     

     

  • The Day I Realized I am a Douchbag

    Lots of things have been happening lately, as most of you know. One of the big “growth opportunities” I have had was a chance to reflect on myself – I am coming to terms with the fact that I am, despite my best efforts, a douche.

    The illness my husband went through left him torn up mentally, perhaps more than physically. He is depressed beyond anything I have ever seen, and I am helpless to fix it. His depression isn’t the suffer sadly kind of depression, it is the hate the world (primarily your wife) type. His mantra has been “this isn’t about you”. In an attempt to support him and avoid the arrows he has been flinging, I have made a serious effort to not speak of me, or anything related to me. This is how I discovered that I am, indeed, a self absorbed DB. 

     

    I started cutting anything related to me, my plans, my opinions, my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences out of conversations with my husband. Wow, nearly impossible. I have to literally zip my lips or leave the room when he shoots something terrible at me or I will say, “that isn’t nice. You are hurting my feelings”. My feelings. My judgement. Me all over that statement. I struggle even when things aren’t completely ugly, I want to say things like, “today I did this”, or “I am planning to do this”. Again, me all over those things, too.

    When I see other people outside of my marriage, all of my “me” shit starts exploding from my mouth before I even get in the door. It’s like I haven’t given “me” enough air and I have to let it out all at once with anyone who will stay in the room long enough to be on the receiving end. I decided to practice removing “me” from those conversations, too. Nearly impossible. So I started trying to speak about me as if I were a character in a story (that’s not self centered, right?) such as, “I am reading this book where the lady’s husband was taken over by aliens when he was in the hospital and he came back as a new man with plans to blow up the earth, starting with his wife”. That was an unsuccessful way to try to practice not being a douche. When I see my daughter and grand daughter, I have to bite my tongue until it nearly bleeds to not say things like, “When you were a baby I did this” or “When I had a c-section I felt this way”.

    I wonder if I am the only one who can’t speak without injecting myself into something. I worry that I am one of those people that constantly needs external validation to feel good about myself. I hope I am not lost in douchebag realm forever.

    Are any of you douchebags? Am I the only one?

  • Atlas Grey

    Atlas is my new grandbaby, she was born on March 26th. Corey was in one hospital and I drove to Fort Collins to meet my daughter in the labor room around 5 am. My daughter was a champ, but labor was really tough on her and she had to have a c-section. Atlas was born around 8 pm that evening.

    I had c-sections, but I had the go to sleep kind. Cassie was awake and alert, and I sat next to her behind a sheet while doctors on the other side cut her guts open to take the baby out. It was all very unreal.

    Corey was beyond sad that he couldn’t be there, but he got out the next weekend and was able to meet her then. Here are a couple pictures of the baby that has stolen my heart.

     

    It’s been one of the hardest months I can remember in the last decade, but Atlas came to the world just in time to make me forget how miserable things can be sometimes. 

    Regardless of how tough March was, we were blessed with many miracles. Corey lived when the odds weren’t in his favor, he dodged cancer when everything pointed that direction, and the most beautiful baby I have ever met came into our lives and made all the hard stuff worthwhile. 

    Atlas is the first baby in our family to have brown eyes in 7 generations. 

     

    I have much to be grateful for, including all of your love and support. Thank you.