Today I am supposed to be at the Carnagie Historical Library working on an article for Boulder County on the works done by the Civilian Conservation Corp, but I have found I am too excited to concentrate on that. 

This afternoon we are going to the Denver Zombie Crawl. If you are in the area and want to check it out, go to www.eyeheartbrains.com. Here is the schedule:

• 11:00 am – Organ Trail
• 12:00 – Makeup and costume help
• 2:00 pm – Kickoff!
• 3:00 pm – Widows Bane
• 3:55 pm – Thriller!
• 4:00 pm – Zombie Crawl Parade down 16th St.
• 5:30 pm – Costume Contests @ Skyline Park
• 8:00 pm – Zombie Crawl after party at Casselman’s

There are professional makeup artists and people to help “zombify” you. There are a ton of kids and people of all ages that participate throughout the day. They are also collecting donations for the food bank. There is live music and then they always do the Thriller dance:

Here are some pics I found from previous events.

If you want to participate without being a zombie, you can always wear an X on your back. That lets the zombies know you are food. The horde comes on scene up Pearl Street mall around dark, and you are either a zombie, a mark, or watching from the street cafes enjoying the show. 

We are going to leave after the parade and go to a hotel in Denver where we are attending a large Halloween costume party with our friends. Everyone is getting a room so there is no fear of drinking and driving. I didn’t have time to get excited and shop for costumes this year, so I am lucky that Corey is involved in theater! He has our costumes all ready with no effort from me, and I can’t wait.

When the fun settles down, I will finish my article on the CCC in Boulder. But honestly, zombies are so much more fun.. 

For those of you going out tonight for Halloween parties, be safe, don’t drive, and if you can’t outrun the horde, embrace them!

One of my favorite things to debate about is the legalization and regulation of drugs, though few people agree with me. (And that’s all right, some days I am not even sure I agree with my ideas.) 

Anyway, historically many things were legal, common and acceptable that are no longer seen this way. Here is a brief tour.

Absinthe – A very highly alcoholic liqueur, or spirit, that has a psychoactive effect. Although it has been in existence since 1550 BC in ancient egypt, it was banned in the US in 1915. It was particularly popular in France and served in all cafes and bistros. “After having been banned for over a century in most countries, Absinthe is re-establishing itself as a (legal) cult favorite, and the drink of choice for people looking to become inebriated as quickly as possible.”

Cocaine – Used as a cure all, it was popular in drinks (Coca Cola) and a numbing agent for all ailments, including toothaches for children.

“Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup was an indispensable aid to mothers and child-care workers. Containing one grain (65 mg) of morphine per fluid ounce, it effectively quieted restless infants and sm

Opium –  For rest, of course!

Heroin – Bayer has always had a handle on pain!

Though none of this is new news, it still makes me smile to see the old ads. After prohibition, things were much better regulated. Mid to late 20th century offered cures with Valium, methamphetamines, and treatments for disorders of various types – remember the lobotomy? 

Today we are dealing with other types of legal and illegal drugs (and legal drugs that will soon be illegal and illegal drugs becoming legal) – with some of the big ones being Prozac, Ritalin and anti-anxiety meds.

I am a believer in regulation, and I know that all drugs are not created equally. However, if the government would use their resources to develop, test, regulate and tax drugs of all varieties rather than to find a reason to not allow them (I am not just talking about illegal drugs here, I am also talking about new therapeutic drugs for chronic and terminal diseases), our country would have much more money, fewer people in prison, lower crime, and more treatment options for ill people. 

This isn’t the first time I have posted about this, and I do understand and mostly agree with the objections I have heard. Drugs ruin people’s lives. But I would hope that with regulation and the elimination of the criminal elements, the effects of drugs wouldn’t be so negative.

Ok, maybe I am a dreamer. 

This is a repost for National Childhood Cancer Day. 

As I read people’s blogs on Xanga, talk to friends in real life (I really have them, I swear!) and talked to my daughter on the phone, I cannot help but think about courage, and how so many don’t understand what that is. Courage is not the lack of fear, but being afraid and doing it anyway. 

I just read a charming young man’s post about asking out a girl he likes (and has for sometime) to discover she isn’t available. That took a lot of courage. My daughter made the decision to remain in her job and work through her issues with her co-workers rather than give up and finding a new job. That is courage. My girlfriend gave up her job of 10 years to start her own company. Another friend can finally let other people see her body after By Pass surgery. I see courage everyday. 

Courage is often associated with picking yourself up and trying again. This is courageous, yes, but not the only form of courage. Sometimes courage is letting go of the fight and embracing the unknown. 

I had a little girl named Amber that I lost to cancer. She had courage everyday. Courage to keep smiling during medical procedure. Courage to play with her friends despite her bald head. Courage to say “no” to procedures that she had a reason to. Her first surgery she had a spinal tap for pain management afterwards. She hated that, it made her uncomfortable and scared though it managed the pain. Though she was very young, she knew that she had a voice in her own treatment. For remaining surgeries (she had 4 more bilateral thoracotamies, very painful) she chose iv pain management which wasn’t as effective so she wasn’t trapped and afraid. She always had a good attitude, never complained about her quality of life or treatments, and was brave in all of her dealings with the world. When she died, she made the decision to not have another surgery. Of course I wouldn’t let her make this choice, and I tried to explain that she needed it even if she didn’t want it. She told me that not everyone that has cancer lives, and she didn’t want to do it. She died less than a week before she was scheduled. I am not a mystical person, but I knew she had decided to die, or at least come to terms with it, when she tried to comfort and warn me. She knew something I didn’t, had a peace with something foreign to me, and made the decision. She had courage to face death while I was fighting tooth and nail. She had courage when I did not.

During her life, she lived with little fear. She had crushes on cute residents, and let them know. She had friends and never hid because of her hair. She rode her bike, swam in the deep end, made commercials and loved any excuse to be in the spotlight. She was brave, she lived with little fear, and she was courageous in a way I can only hope to be.

Learn a lesson from her. Invite people over to dinner even if your house isn’t perfect. Don’t wait for the economy to get better before you start chasing your dreams. Ask that girl out, even if she says no. We don’t have much time, try not to blow it.

Last year Corey and I went to Oktoberfest in Carbondale, CO. It’s a tiny little mountain town near Aspen but lacks that ski bunny tourist feel. We had a fantastic time – more fun than two old fogies like us should admit to!

I love fall. I love the cool weather, the first time we use the fireplace, the leaves on the lawn that I don’t have to rake up. I love football, beer and brats. I love to use the oven and dig seeds out of pumpkins. I love Halloween, scary movies, costume parties. There is really no better time of year, in my opinion. Oh, and I love Oktoberfest. Did I mention that yet?

We just booked our next trip to the lovely little town for this year’s celebration! Here are some images of the town and our trip last year:

Here is a better picture of Carbondale I found online:

My lovely husband is not as fond of the season as I am, but he doesn’t care for scary movies and he hates football ( I know, I know, I am still working on him) but he loves Oktoberfest as much as I do. There’s something about mountain people that make me feel at home – as if there is no need for pretension. Nobody we have ever met or visited with in that area has tried to impress us with their career or money, their moral superiority, or their exotic lifestyle. The people we meet when we go there are down to earth, friendly and open minded. I am pretty sure I belong somewhere up there. I am going to have to finally give up smoking forever first though, or I will never be able to run or hike! Anyone who says altitude doesn’t make a huge difference has obviously never tried to hike from 7 to 12 thousand feet. It won’t matter too much this trip though, we may get a day hike in but aren’t there to backpack. 

I hope you all have something you are excited about with the new season blowing in. I am going to break out my fall decorations, make an apple crisp, and watch football all day. I hope your weekend is every bit as lovely. 

Hi guys – I only have a minute to post and this is an odd topic to post about, but I met some fascinating people this weekend. I met 3 couples in a community of BDSM who own and operate a dungeon. They also offer classes about the lifestyle to introduce new people to the lifestyle for information, even if they aren’t interested in the lifestyle themselves.

First I met a lady named “Lisa” who was a full time domme. As we visited and she showed me around the place, her naked slave followed us silently, sitting on the floor when we sat because he isn’t allowed on the furniture. I guess he wasn’t a slave yet, he is an aspiring slave that is considered a bottom, he hasn’t even made sub status yet. She was intelligent, funny, polite and even kind as she explained an overview of what she does and an introduction to the lifestyle. Her slave had spent the day naked and cleaning her toilets, in various torture devices, and rehearsing being subordinate. 

Next I met a couple who are full time lifestylers, she is his slave and he her master. This relationship took years to develop, and they both seemed very happy with it. When in the house, she is not allowed to wear clothes unless he grants her permission (company or whatnot) and she consented to a non-consensual relationship. She wears a collar and tags all the time, even at work, and she is a scientist. The people I met were educated, professional, normal, funny and kind. It was nothing I expected.

Lisa was everything you would expect in a domme on the outside. She was 5’10, long dark hair and smoky eyes, dressed in black (though not leather). She had a presence that commanded attention. What I didn’t expect was her ability to have a conversation with me from kids, to football, to torturing men.

Here are some examples of what was in their dungeon.

This is a suspension device that rotates so the person bound to it can be any angle, upside down, sideways, etc.

This is a sawhorse with knee rests. 

This is a cock and balls torture chair. You can see where the junk is pulled through, then the guillotine comes down and causes discomfort. 

I wish I had more time to explain everything they taught and showed me (not on myself, of course), but I am in the office and don’t want anyone to come in

They demonstrated fire play on one of the slaves, they can use fire sticks and bulbs that doesn’t actually burn but leaves the skin feeling warm. They explained safe words and some of the attraction to the LS (thank you Fifty Shades of Grey). The most important thing I learned, however, was that people may have exotic lifestyles and interests, do things I would never consider or that might make me shudder, but when you look at anything with an open mind and leave judgement at the door – there are many worlds to discover and fascinating people to meet. 

I am at work, not sure how much I will be able to respond until later. Have a terrific Hump Day!

Lizzie Borden, with an ax,

Gave her mother 40 whacks.

When she saw what she had done,

She gave her father 41.

Lizzie Borden (July 19, 1860 – June 1, 1927)

The rhyme is an exaggeration, the truth is that Lizzie’s mother received only 18 or 19 strikes with an ax while her father received 11. Lizzie B. was accused of murdering her father and stepmother in 1892. She was found innocent by a jury and she and her sister lived together in a plush and comfortable home in Fall River, MA for 20 years.

It is not surprising that Lizzy was not convicted by a jury. It was 1892, and Lizzie and her older sister, Emma, were far beyond marrying age. The Boston Herald reported this about the younger Borden sister, “viewed Lizzie as above suspicion: “From the consensus of opinion it can be said: In Lizzie Borden’s life there is not one unmaidenly nor a single deliberately unkind act.” 

However, suspicion continued to mount against Lizzie, and a local physician stated that it had to be Lizzie because, “hacking is almost a positive sign of a deed by a woman who is unconscious of what she is doing.” After a very heated trial with mountains of evidence against her, she was still released. The thought that a prudish, devout spinster could be capable of such brutal murders was absurd. 

Lizzie Borden only murdered her parents, but she is the most well known female murderer in America. 

I would like you to meet Belle Gunness. 

Belle Gunness (November 22, 1859 – ?) 

Belle was a very ambitious woman who moved to the US in 1881. Initially she burned her house and store, receiving a large insurance settlement, but it wasn’t long before she killed her husband and two children for that insurance pay out, as well. She remarried a man named Peter who had an infant girl, and her new family also mysteriously perished. After that, she courted wealthy men on her farm who all vanished. When her farm burned, more than 40 bodies of men and children were found in shallow graves around the property. 

Ray Lamphere, Gunness’s hired hand, was arrested for murder and arson on May 22, 1908. He was found guilty of arson, but cleared of murder. He died in prison, but not before revealing the truth about Belle Gunness and her crimes, including burning her own house down – the body that was recovered was not hers. Nobody saw Belle again after the fire, but she did make a withdrawal from the bank before leaving town.

Would you like some candy, little boy?

Tillie Klimek (Gburek) (1876–1936) 

Tillie was considered a pychic, or a mystic, who was plagued with nightmares about the future and when people (and dogs) would die. She was famous for foreseeing specific dates of doom for people around her, including her five husbands. Women who ate her candy fell ill with poison, and it is believed that “taking candy from a stranger” was declared dangerous from her actions. Tillie informed one of her husbands that he would die in three days. To prove she was serious, she bought a coffin that very day and left it in her basement, only to pull it out three days later to bury him. The list of victims of her deadly culinary skills grew to 20, men and women, lovers and rivals. She was only convicted of one murder, however, and died in prison. 

Now, out of the three ladies listed here, who do you see as the most dangerous? It’s amazing to me that Lizzie still holds the most fame for her crimes (even though she was found not guilty) with the many lovely ladies that committed atrocious acts.

Behold  the power of a jingle. 

And I will move the earth.

 All of my life I have wanted to save the world, do great things, adventure everyday. As I get older, my desire to save the world lessens, doing great things now includes making sure the dog gets daily exercise, and I avoid adventure at all costs. 

I am not sure when it happened – my dreams shrinking and my need for comfort increasing. I seem to like to have control over my environment and loved ones, I want to manage it all to keep it all safe and manageable. In my early twenties I may have had long ranging plans and goals but I never knew what was going to happen day to day. Today I try to know everything that I have planned for the day, week, month and do all I can to remove unpredictable variables. 

I had coffee with a friend today who I just happened to meet when I was his assistant at the college. He always makes me laugh, and usually makes me think. He giggled when I told him I thought I was a bit of a control freak (I was seriously hoping for him to say, “No, you aren’t a control freak at all. You just like to take care of the people you love”). He giggled as if it were obvious I was a control freak, that everybody knew it! 

I am not sure that if I could live with abandon again I would want to. I miss believing that I would make a difference, do great things, etc.. but I like stability too much now to let it go. I wonder, is there a way to have both?

First of all, thank you to everyone who checked in on me during the fire and after the shooting – it is so good to know people think of me! It has been a crazy summer, we have traveled and been busy with camping, hiking, family and now summer is half over.

I am not even sure where to start with updating everyone on what has been going on, but let me start with the big news – my oldest daughter, Cassidy, is pregnant. She is 22 and has been on her own for 2 years now. She and her boyfriend have been dating for a little over a year. And she is pregnant. I am still processing all of this and not quite sure how I feel about it, but I guess how I feel about it isn’t important. 

We have been spending time in Fort Collins and trying to sort things out, which may include renting out our condo and moving down there to support her for a couple of years. It has been a whirlwind of change. I had no idea how much being pregnant myself affected my own parents before now. 

So, congratulations to Cassidy and Kevin - 

But please, I am so not ready for the “G” word yet!

This has been a very busy summer, and I have been running back and forth all over here. I am sorry for all the posts I have missed, and also sorry for all of the posts I am going to miss in the next few weeks. I miss my Xanga friends.

Here is a quick update:

I visited the Royal Gorge with my father in law who was in town while my husband was not. Not knowing him well, I showed him all around CO because I didn’t want him to be bored. I may have went too far, because he was exhausted when he left. 

The following day, we hiked up to Boulder Falls. (If you can call it hiked, it was not very far from the road.) 

Then we went to Nederland and I had fun telling him about the famous frozen dead guy and the coffin races. He didn’t believe me, so we went to the coffee shop to verify my story.

Then I went back to WY. I spent time with my grandparents and visited the haunted old cemetery where my relatives are buried. I used to play there as a kid, it wasn’t as spooky as an adult. Someday I will dedicate an entire post to that.

A miniature sculpture of the Devil’s Tower made of stone by a grave, amazing work.

I next visited my childhood home, but didn’t take pictures because a new family lives there and that would be creepy. Here is the road outside of our house though.

I returned to Boulder, picked up Corey from the airport, and now we are going back to camp and hike in the Bear Lodge until a week from Tuesday. It was a good alternative to backpacking the CO trail, no fires up there.

The time I was traveling, one daughter took a road trip to Portland and the other moved to Montana. My husband traveled from PA to AL to TN.  It seems we were all scattered this summer.

I do miss Xanga, and it feels like I have been gone forever. What makes it worse is that I am not done running and know I will miss much more. At least I will have a lot to talk about when I get back! 

I hope you are all loving your summer and will remember me when I finally return!

I have been on a reading spree that happens to have a common theme – everyone is hungry. I started with All is Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque about German soldiers during World War I. I then read Wild by Cheryl Strayed which is about a backpacker on the Pacific Crest Trail. Finally, I reread Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt, a memoir about a hungry family in Ireland. The common theme was hunger, and their description of food was so rich and detailed that reading it made me hungry, myself.

There were several lines that stood out to me, but the one that I remember the most about hunger was from Angela’s Ashes and his obsession with eggs. He heard a story about a boy in another country who had an entire egg he could eat himself, and yet he only had part of it and threw it away. Frank was outraged and in disbelief. “Oh, God above, if heaven has a taste it must be an egg with butter and salt, and after the egg is there anything in the world lovelier than fresh warm bread and a mug of sweet golden tea?” - Frank McCourt, ‘Angela’s Ashes’ (1996)

When you are hungry, not much else matters in the world outside of finding food. You don’t worry about politics, religion, art or culture. You don’t worry about recycling, global warming or the long term economic impact of the nation’s debt. You only worry about finding a meal. 

Even with the abundance of food we can develop today, 925 million people face starvation right now. 

I believed I had been hungry before. I have never felt more hungry than I did after working outside all day, or running a long, hard trail run. I believed I was famished and would die without putting something in my belly. But that is an exaggeration, I have honestly never known real hunger, and neither has anyone I know personally. 

Looking into this, I found that the world does produce enough food to feed everyone, 17 percent more than enough, actually. Obviously, the primary cause of hunger and starvation is poverty, but there are varied reasons why this is including conflict, war, government mismanagement, etc. In the US, 14.5 percent of households were considered food insecure - ‘A situation that exists when people lack secure access to sufficient amounts of safe and nutritious food for normal growth and development and an active and healthy life’. I can’t understand how that can happen in the US. 

I think my next series of books are going to be about happier topics. 

http://www.worldhunger.org/articles/Learn/us_hunger_facts.htm